Obviously the saying is “eat when you’re hungry, stop when you’re full”, which is great advice, but very hard to do when you have been in a relationship with ED.
From mistreating my body for many months when I was anorexic, my hunger cues got rewired. Once I sought treatment, I was put on meal plans which confused my hunger and fullness cues again since I was required to eat everything on my plate. I remember when I came home from the hospital, the first meal my mom gave me had tomatoes in it. I HATED tomatoes as a teenager. I cried and cried ( I think I actually may have had a full on meltdown) and I was not allowed to go anywhere until I ate those two frickin tomatoes. Right then and there I knew there was no way in hell I was going to be able to manipulate my mother anymore when it came to food. My mom also had to come to my high school and supervise me while I ate lunch in her car. Eventually this task was given to my best friend. Needless to say, there was not much freedom when it came to exploring hunger and fullness.
After treatment and meal plans, I became reliant on time of day to tell me when I should eat. I would eat when I was supposed to eat (by the clock) and eat everything on my plate regardless if I was full or not (back to that black or white mentality; see my other blog). And then once I gained back some of my hunger and fullness cues, I chose to ignore them and focus more on my emotional state which led to bulimia and bingeing.
I really do believe in trusting your hunger and fullness cues aka intuitive eating. Once they come back (and they will) it is important to listen to them. Also, once you are able to ditch all or nothing mentality, intuitive eating will become much easier to accomplish. I strongly recommend the book ” Eating in the Light of the Moon” by Anita A. Johnston. You can find it on Amazon. I read it when I was 20 years old and it had a profound effect on me, so much that I went and got a moon tattoo on each ankle (enter girl emoji slapping her forehead). Both of them are now covered up with different tattoos, but I still have a moon (a bigger moon) on one ankle which I fondly look at 4 months out of the year 😉
Yours,
Robin