I am always so jealous of the women out there who don’t give much thought about food or their thigh gap. I am talking about those who are confident, use intuitive eating, and love their bodies for what it can do. You know when a person says “I didn’t eat lunch today. I forgot.”….. and you stare at them with your mouth wide open, thinking ” WTF. How do you forget to eat lunch???!” It is these people that I admire. Not because they didn’t eat lunch, but because thinking what to eat for lunch was not at the top of their to -do list! I always ask myself… why can’t I be that way? Why can’t I just go about my life and not have food or exercise be the objective of my day? Why can’t I just love my body regardless of it’s imperfections? Obviously it is partly due to my ex, ED, but it also has to do with societal pressures, including social media.
Earlier this week my sister and I had a texting conversation about people on social media who make it sound like if you have a glass of wine every week you are never going to achieve a 6 pack and a gap in between your thighs. Let’s take some time to debunk some myths and common disordered thoughts that you may see on social media.
- If I eat 2 slices of pepperoni pizza every week, I will never lose weight.
False. First off, losing weight has everything to do with calorie deficit. You could eat a slice of pizza every day of the week and still lose weight if you burn more calories than you consume. Obviously eating pizza every week is not “healthy”, so therefore not encouraged. However, you do not need to fear that eating a “bad food” every week is going to put on the pounds. Follow Chrissy Teigen and you’ll catch my drift. Now, if you eat pizza every week along with cookies and donuts and no exercise then yes, you will probably gain weight.
2. Dieting with one ch(eat) day is a good idea.
For someone with a past of binge eating disorder, cheat days do not work. The idea that I can eat whatever I want every Saturday is a dangerous game to play. Cheat days will not only exacerbate all or nothing mentality but it will also encourage the idea of “good” and “bad” foods. If you are dieting and have a past with ED, I encourage you to not rely on cheat days to get you through your week. Instead, allow yourself to enjoy something every day. For me, I always need something sweet after every meal, such as a cookie, piece of chocolate, or a piece of apple with peanut butter. I would say I probably follow the 80:20 rule… I eat healthy 80% of the time and allow myself to indulge 20% of the time. When on vacation… it’s more like 50:50. Remember, everything in moderation, even moderation.
3. Regardless of how much I exercise, my diet is what I want to focus on in order to get results.
This one is actually true. You can do Orangetheory 5 days per week and still not get the results you want to see if have a poor diet. If you have a healthy diet, you will see results faster. However, life is not about the size of your waist. So if you enjoy working out every day (or even just a few times per week) but still enjoy your chips and salsa and glass of wine every night, then good for you! Just because you don’t follow the 80:20 rule doesn’t mean you are not healthy, just like how being thin does not necessarily mean you are healthy. Social media or anyone for that matter, should never make you feel guilty for enjoying things that they may condemn as “bad for you”. Also, if you do in fact have a 6 pack, eating something “bad” every now and then is not going to automatically take away your abs. Food baby? Perhaps.
4. I should eat “clean” for 30 days every six months to allow my body a rest from toxins.
I don’t disagree with this statement, although again for someone who has a past with ED, this one is going to perpetuate restriction which may not be a good idea. I do agree that your body could use a rest from certain foods/food groups. Alcohol, sugar, gluten and dairy are common ones for a lot of people. I personally will lay off dairy when I notice that my skin is very congested. Will I do it for 30 days? Maybe. But if you don’t want to, then don’t! You don’t want to do Whole30 (I mean who does honestly), then no shame in that.
With all that said it really boils down to: What makes you happy? When it comes to food and what you eat, don’t be so hard on yourself. Do you want to train for 2 hours every day at the gym in the hopes of getting rid of your tricep jiggle (good luck with that one), or would you rather be building memories elsewhere? Would you rather be super cut and eat rice cakes and broccoli every day or would you rather enjoy the food that you eat? And hey, if being “cut” and eating “clean” is your jam (maybe it’s even part of your profession), then by all means, carry on. If you really do desire a 6 pack before you go on vacation, then you go girl! But if it is not what you truly desire, then you should absolutely not feel guilty or feel pressure to be a certain way! To be frank, if you are super healthy all the time, you are probably not the most thrilling person to be around (and I am allowed to say this because I used to be this person and sometimes still am if ED is present).
Don’t get me wrong; I work out for an hour most days of the week and I eat healthy most of the time. I am definitely not saying throw your “healthy” habits out the window, but living with ED brings a different perspective. I know how miserable life is with ED and I know how much better life is with NED. Choose enjoyment over restriction. I personally would rather eat a cookie a few times per week and still hate my back fat than not have the cookie and still hate my back fat. I have let too many opportunities and experiences slip through my fingers in the past because I cared to go for a run more than building memories with my friends and family. And let’s face it, life is short. So give yourself a break, have a cookie, and don’t believe everything you read or see on social media. If someone on social media is a trigger for you or makes you feel bad about yourself for whatever reason, unfollow them!
Yours,
Robin