The answer is yes and no. There is a disorder called Orthorexia, which is the desire and obsession to only eat “healthy” foods, restricting all “bad” foods, additives, etc. I am not going to go into that one as I do not have experience with it, but I do have experience with disordered eating and the thoughts associated with it. ED is different from disordered eating. DE (disordered eating) is not as frequent or severe as ED. DE has to do with food and eating behaviors, but from experience, disordered behaviors can also occur with exercise. So for the sake of this discussion I am going to put the two together and just call it DT: disordered thoughts. I am obviously not a professional but from personal experience this is my perspective:
Here are a couple of common disordered eating/thoughts:
1.Being gluten free. Are you gluten free because you have Celiac or are sensitive to gluten OR do you not eat gluten because it is an excuse for you to not have to eat carbs? Same goes for vegan. Are you vegan only so that you can deny birthday cake at your friend’s birthday party?
2. Working out excessively every day of the week. Do you actually need to work out for 4 hours per day at the gym (maybe you’re an athlete or training for a competition) OR are you obsessed and fear gaining weight if you miss a workout? Do you get anxiety if you are not able to work out? Are you able to NOT work out when on vacation or sick? Is working out your main priority? Do you miss commitments because you must go to the gym instead?
3. Dieting. Do you not want the piece of bread because you are genuinely watching what you eat, OR do you actually think the piece of bread will make you gain weight? Are you petrified of eating a “bad” food because you actually believe you will wake up a few pounds heavier? Do you not attend social events because you do not want to have to eat the food that is offered? Do you constantly juice or restrict after eating out or eating too much? Do you base your self worth on the amount of calories you eat and the number on the scale?
You CAN be vegan, gluten free, workout every day and diet and NOT have an active eating disorder or disordered eating. However, if you have the above thoughts or behaviors, then you might have DT or even ED. There is a very fine line between DT and ED. It is so fine that I am not going to go into it much deeper (I’ll leave that to the professionals). If you find yourself overly consumed with working out or you are fixated or obsessed with only eating healthy foods, you may want to consider getting help. DT can turn into ED very quickly if you are not careful. That is how it happened to me. Once basketball season was over I became obsessed with going to the gym and then it turned into a fear of specifically eating fat and within 5 months I was getting treatment.
I asked my husband yesterday if he would categorize me as currently having disordered eating. His answer was “no, but you do feel guilt if you eat poorly or feel that you have not exercised enough”. I agree with his assessment. I personally would refer to myself as recovered but with occasional (sometimes frequent) guilt, although I do not act upon my guilt, meaning I do not starve or purge myself afterwards.
For example, in the past I would be the person that would blow off people and commitments because in my mind, I had to work out. Exercise consumed me. It was the first thing that popped into my head when I woke up and it was the last thing I thought about when going to bed. I feared that not working out for one day would cause me to gain weight. I remember a time when I was 22 years old and I got a Brazilian wax; I came home afterwards, ate a big lunch, felt guilt, immediately thought “I have to work out, I probably gained 3 lbs right now” and went on a 3 hour bike ride. Not a good idea. Ladies if you get waxed down there DO NOT sit on a bike or sweat for at least 12 hours!
Anyways, years later, I am much more flexible. If I am sick, do not feel well, get a wax, or simply just do not feel like working out, I allow myself to rest. If I have made plans or have a commitment to attend to, I will put off my workout. If I am on vacation I will take it easy (do I still pack my workout clothes and running shoes? Yes.) And yes, ED does tell me I am lazy and fat (and makes me feel guilty) if I do not work out more than two days in a row, but the difference is that I do not actually believe that I am lazy and fat. I do not believe that if I do not work out, that I will automatically gain 3 lbs. If I did still believe those things, then I would have disordered thoughts.
So if you are gluten free or vegan because you choose to be, workout everyday because you love to, or juice because it makes you feel good, own it! No shame in that! Just make sure you are being 100% honest as to why you do it. What is your intention?
Yours,
Robin