Holy sH*t I’m Almost 30

It just occurred to me that I am 29 1/2 years old this week. Ugh. I only have 6 more months to figure my life out, or at least that is what it seems like. When my mom was my age, she had already been married for 7 years, had an almost two year old, pregnant with her second and was a new home owner. Here I am, almost 30, a newlywed, no “real” career, very little savings to my name, no baby in the oven and no mortgage.

Do I feel sorry for myself? Absolutely not. Majority of millennials are right there with me. I have a very blessed life, it is just not exactly what I pictured. I am certainly not where I thought I would be at my age. If you had asked me at age 20 what I would be doing by the time I was 30, I would probably have said either 2 kids with a husband living on a productive farm outside the states (total fantasy) or a successful restaurant owner (perhaps slightly more realistic).

It is not that anyone is pressuring me to go somewhere or be something by the time I turn 30…but rather just an expectation that I have created for myself over the years. I think especially as women, we set a timeline for ourselves… at this age I should be married, at this age I should have a child, at this age I should not have a child, at this age I should reevaluate my relationship, at this age I need to have a career established, at this age I need to buy a house, at this age I need to dye my gray hair… etc. I am a planner. I like my ducks in a row. I always ask my husband, “so where do you see us 5 years from now?”… and no matter how many times I ask or rephrase the question, he always answers back, “I don’t know” (enter roll my eyes emoji).

But he is right. We don’t know. Some things you can plan and prepare for but for a lot of things you just have to ride the wave called life. So for the next 6 months I am not going to plan (other than my “Dirty Thirty”!!!!!). I am going to ride the wave and see where it takes me. I am not going to set expectations on myself and I am not going to make myself feel pressured to do things only because I feel that they are expected of me. I am going to embrace turning 30 and everything that comes with it whatever that might be -except my gray hairs, I do not accept those.